erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
