this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
