i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize