Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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