Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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