She is in my trunk
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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