last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
