dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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