Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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