I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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