your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
