Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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