Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
you told grandpa to call you daddy
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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