Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Randomize
