Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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