I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
