mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
