No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
