i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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