i think my mom watched the whole time
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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