Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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