shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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