omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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