Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
