just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
