I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
