What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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