weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm always down for nudity.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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