wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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