Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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