i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
lol hangovers are for mortals.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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