Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
