Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
