She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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