those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
