super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
