he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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