Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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