i think my tv is drunk
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
