I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
