How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Randomize
