Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
