Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Randomize
