What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
