I murdered the dance floor call the cops
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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