i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Randomize
