Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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