I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
