you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
