He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize