Me. At least after what I've been through.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
